The Danger of Sneezing

“They are saying aliens landed again,” the woman said, as if aliens were a day to day occurrence. I took a closer look at the magazine I had handed her and discovered it was one of the cheap tabloids they sold in supermarkets. She was reading it seriously enough that I knew better then to make a dismissing remark. The problem with buses is that you’re stuck next to whomever and you can’t make a quick escape if you start an argument. It’s better to make polite conversation and not express an opinion about anything they say.

“Where are they supposed to have landed?” I asked, trying to keep the cynicism out of my voice.

“Nevada, they usually seem to land there. I wonder if it’s somehow like their home planet, wherever that is. Don’t you think it would be fun to be kidnapped by aliens?” The woman asked me earnestly.

“Well I’m sure it would make me very famous,” I commented, not sure what else to say.

“Oh no, because it all gets hushed up, you wouldn’t be allowed to tell anyone. But I still think it would feel good to have that knowledge that you had been chosen and had done something special. You know, that you were different.” I had grown up feeling I was different because of the whole sneezing thing, so this time I really didn’t have anything to say, so we lasted the rest of the ride in silence.

I got off in front of my apartment building, and so did the woman who had been sitting next to me. Usually I don’t think much about the people who get off at my complex, because it’s a big series of buildings, but this woman had stood out to me so I was surprised. If it had been a sensibly dressed business man I think I wouldn’t have looked twice, or a woman with her children, but to have this strange woman live so close to me made me look at least four times.

I sneezed on a Saturday the week after that. That wasn’t so bad, at least that meant that good things would happen on Sunday, though like I said I try not to tinker with my life through sneezing. If I had to sneeze though, Saturday was my favorite day to. I have to admit that I even fell asleep with a vague feeling of anticipation to see what good would happen to me on Sunday.

I went to church on Sunday morning, like I usually do. Nothing happened during the service but at the beginning of the service the preacher announced that he would like to announce the addition of a new member of the congregation. It was the woman who I had seen on the bus, standing there in the front of the church and saying her greetings to the congregation. Bethany Holts, the preacher had said her name was. Even worse, she decided to sit in my pew. As we filed out of the church after worship I had the added unpleasant surprise that Bethany had also walked, and since we lived in the same building we were walking together whether I liked it or not.

“I think I like the preacher a lot better then my old one. My old one was too old fashioned and fire and brimstone,” Bethany commented, one of the first sane things I had ever heard her say.

“I think you’ll like it at this church, it’s very modern. Some of the older people left for just that reason but I find it refreshing,” I told her. Now that she was talking like a normal person again I was able to remember what I had first noticed about her, she was very pretty. I quickly dismissed that thought, relationships don’t go well when your whole life changes every time you sneeze.

To be continued...