The reason that court was being held was to discuss the impending marriage, not how it would be celebrated, but rather how they could afford a ceremony that would be befitting of even a minor prince. It was a humiliating discussion for all of them. It was made worse by the fact that they knew that they couldn’t tax the population any more than they were already. Well in any case the ministers of the court knew that, it was their job to convince the prince of this, who had a rather large sense of self entitlement.
“This has gone all together too far,” the prince interrupted me again. “This isn’t honesty anymore, it’s abuse. Might I add that it’s also a very immature way of showing your displeasure with me?”
“I’m just describing what I see,” I snapped back. “It’s all in the eye of the beholder right? What I see is a selfish brat, who is making his ministers lives far more difficult than they have to be because of unreasonable and unrealistic demands. Admit it,” I added nastily, “how many neighboring nobles do you even think will attend your marriage. I bet they don’t even answer the invites. Actually, as the author, I think I’ll go write that part right now. I’ll get to this scene later.”
“If you want to start that, go right ahead, but I have a sheet of paper and pen right here. I am fully prepared to send a letter to the newspaper about how you’re going to have a baby, father unknown. I’ll even enclose a picture they can use, after some heavy photo editing of course. You make up stuff about my love life, and I’ll make up stuff about yours.”
“Are you really going to be like this through the whole story?” I asked. I was seriously considering simply not continuing with it. Temperamental stars were one thing, I could deal with them, but this glowing teenager was threatening my good name.
“Look, if this part is really that hard for you to write without slandering me, skip it. Just tell the reader that the meeting decided I would become the hired help for the neighboring kingdoms for a while to pay for my own wedding. Ungrateful, disloyal, advisors, they have no respect for me at all.”
“You aren’t going to be the hired help,” I argued. “You’ll be doing knightly deeds and such, perfectly respectable, almost expected of a prince. Slay some monsters, save a couple of girls too stupid to run or fight on their own, and coincidently get rewarded with some cash.”
“You don’t really have a children’s book of fairy tales that you read, do you? That sounds like the sort of stupid rationalizing that someone who read that stuff would give. Get real, princes rule, it’s what we do, that’s the whole job. Leave the rescuing of stupid chicks and killing things to peasants with unusual strength and nobility, or the third sons of merchants, who tend to get lucky for some reason. People who already have kingdoms and princess promised to them, don’t risk their necks. Do you have any idea how demeaning this is for me?”
“Well that’s just something that you’re going to have to deal with because it’s a major plot point, and besides, can you argue with the fact that you need the money?”
“I shouldn’t have to work for it though. This is going to make me the laughing stock of the entire area.”
To be continued...
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