I rolled out of bed and flinched as my bare feet hit the cold floor. Still wrapped in my blanket I found my way to the fireplace to light the fire. The kindling was getting low and I would have to go out and gather more sometime today. I watched the fire flare up like villages and cities of old had when they had been put to the torch. I put the kettle on.
While the kettle was coming up to a boil I dressed myself properly and threw my quilt back on the bed, it was made of ragged remains of uniforms. I hadn’t had any new cloth to use, coming right down to it I had never sewn a quilt before either, it’s not a very good quilt.
The kettle started to boil so I made my tea for breakfast and made a mush. That at least I had done for myself a lot in the past. Mush had been a common food in my army when it had lacked other food. We never did have a lot of food, half of the time I was feeding them out of my own pocket anyway. I wonder if they were at all grateful, then I wonder if they even knew, or if they did, did they care, I doubt it. I haven’t seen any of them for years, I wonder if they remember me. I led them through hell so they probably do; I wonder why none of them have come to kill me yet.
After I had eaten I had to get to the chores, there was the kindling to gather and I should go hunting. The pig I had slaughtered before the first snow was starting to get a little off tasting so I was hoping that I could bag a rabbit or something today. I was a crack shot at least, I had learned from some of the best riflemen there was after all, a long time ago. Most of them had marched with me. If I did meet with some game I was sure to have a good dinner, which was something.
I no longer had a coat so I wrapped myself in my quilt before going out. My coat had been sold in town a couple of years ago. It didn’t matter; I had walked through a lot worse with less protection, and led an army of men with me while I did it. At least I still had boots.
I didn’t manage to find any animal wandering around the frozen wastes that I now lived, so left over mush would have to do for dinner. Well I had gone hungry in the past; once money had started to get tight I had been forced to put everyone on half ration. Most of the men had been angry about that. As if it was my fault the government wasn’t giving me money for supplies. I had done everything I could for them. I think it had been hungry desperation that had driven us to march into that city against a superior force; it was either that or starve. I was facing starvation now again. I would have to walk over to the neighbor’s and ask him to go into town for me. I would have to pay him for his time of course, and give him money for the supplies, but I never went into town anymore.
I went back to my cabin and tried to clean myself up the best I could. If I was going to go see other people I wanted to look presentable anyway, though I could never look like I could back in the old days. I had once been grand looking; well it came of coming from a good family. I trimmed my beard the best I could by feel and combed back my hair with my fingers. It was too cold to wash my face, when I had led my army across that river in midwinter, that had been bad enough, I don’t want water frozen on my face ever again.
To be continued...
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