Justified III

The building that was on fire had no connection to the main road; there was another building between it and the main street. You could pass through the front facing building into the alley facing building but of course nothing like a fire truck could get through that way. It would have to go around and through the alley. That was why I was shocked when I saw that they fire trucks were only parked outside of the alley with their hoses snake into it. They barely reached far enough and I wondered why it was the fire truck didn’t go closer to the fire. That was until I realized that my car, while leaving a space large enough for another car to pass it, didn’t leave enough space for a fire truck. They were hooking it up to a tow truck as I walked up and I didn’t even bother to try and stop them. I didn’t want to face them right now, not in the face of that blaze, with my car getting in the way. I didn’t want to face the blame for what ever property damage had been added because they couldn’t reach the fire right.

A woman showed up on the scene, I recognized her from before; she had been at the lawyer’s office the day before, asking for advice. She ran forward and had to be stopped by the police, I couldn’t hear what was being said over the sirens and the crowd but she collapsed in hysterics. I still kept away from her. I still had her name and address in my coat pocket from when she had come in and made me take it, but I didn’t want to be responsible for her. If I got involved they might realize the car was mine, and then they would blame me and there was no way that I could avoid this blame. I was the one who was breaking the law, I was the one who had blocked the road because I didn’t want to spend money on the meter, it was all my fault but I didn’t wan the blame.

I don’t know why I stayed around until the fire was put out, except that it felt like absolving my guilt to watch a situation that I was forced to admit to myself I was in part responsible. The woman who had run forward before was still there as well, as the final ashes of the fire fell around us and the firemen started to pick through the remains. It wasn’t until they carried out the covered stretcher to a waiting ambulance that I realized the true magnitude.

As soon as the woman saw the stretcher she burst into a wailing that I could hear, even where I was standing. A few people comforted her but it was clear that she knew no one. I finally willed myself to move forward and I asked her about anyone who should be contacted, there was no one. I took her home with me that night and she slept in my bed while I slept on the couch in the living room. I made her eat that morning and continued to help her through the whole process of mourning. We went to her father’s funeral together but I never told her that it had been my car that had blocked the fire truck. I still wouldn’t take that blame. She finally moved out of my house and found an apartment of her own, and her own job, I helped her some with that with my connections. She had some interest in me romantically by then but I couldn’t do it, she didn’t know me after all.

The police called me a couple of times about my car and I paid the fine on it but didn’t pick it up from the impound. I haven’t driven since that day; I take the taxi everywhere, or the bus. People ask me about it sometimes but no one can blame me now, I have been punished. Besides the more that I think about it, it wasn’t my fault. I was fine in parking my car there, I did everyday. It was a coincidence. I wasn’t the one who lit the building on fire, they never found out how that happened. The building was a substandard slum of apartments that got rented out to a bunch of poor families; they had violated the fire code among everything else. I could say it wasn’t my fault, until I asked the woman what she had come in that day to ask for advice about. That was when I knew that nothing could justify my actions.