Ego II

I tied to comfort myself by telling myself that the coach was just as hard on all of the other players but I knew that wasn't really completely true. He harsh, and he told everyone that he expected better of them, but he also had words of praise for people who he thought deserved it and he had never once praised me. It was time to admit that I was lacking and the whole team knew it by now.

I started going to the gym more often then I had before. Back when I had been in high school I had gone maybe once a week outside of what the couch told us to, just so I could say that I did. So that I could act like I was making an effort. I had done it mostly because I liked having people talk about what a hard worker I was. Now I was going far more often then that and doing it because I wanted that praise again. My goal was no longer for everyone to praise me, I was only interested in one person praising me, my coach. His opinion started to be all that mattered.

It was a good thing during that summer practice that I didn't have a roommate because I would have driven them insane. Even after the gym was closed for the night I started doing push-ups in my room and I begged money from my parents for dumbbells. I would go for long runs, even when I was exhausted from practice. By the time that classes were actually going to start I was in the best shape I had ever been in. That did show in how the coach talked to me, he still wasn't happy with my catching accuracy but he had stopped telling me that I was too slow.

I didn't get my debut in our first practice match, I sat on the bench waiting but the coach never told me to play. It was the assistant coach who called me aside after the game while everyone else was heading into the post game meeting. A couple of people on the team who I had become friends with gave me a pat on the back as they walked past me. Having any coach asking to talk to you personally was considered to be a bad sign. You could be almost sure that you were going to get yelled at. I braced myself to find out what I had done this time and walked into the office.

“Sit down. You've been having some trouble haven't you?” asked the assistant coach and I nodded sheepishly as I sat. “I'll get right to the point, you aren't a receiver anymore.” I stared at the man in shock, trying to figure out what this meant. Were they saying that they didn't want me on the team anymore?

“Yes, sir,” I chanced.

“Don't look like I just told you we were going to shoot you,” the assistant coach complained, “it makes me feel bad. Are you really so set on being a receiver? You aren't good at it you know.” I was starting to hate the bluntness of coaches.

“I have realized that sir, but it's what I always was. I've been a receiver since middle school, I guess I thought I was good before coming here.”

“Always having been something doesn't make it a perfect match. Both the coach and I have agreed that you will make a much better running back then a receiver. Your catches continue to be only average but your speed has become faster then either of us could have imagined when you showed up. I realize that changing your position completely will be hard for you but both the coach and I agree that it is for the best. We are giving you the choice in the end though. You can keep being a receiver and unless you improve a lot I can almost promise you that you will never get off of the bench. On the other hand you can become our running back and you'll get out on the field every game I can almost promise you, at least if you keep up with the amount of growth you have shown us so far.”

I didn't get out on the field until the home coming game that year. Getting used to my new position. It wasn't easy, having spent my whole life in one position learning a whole new set of things made it seem like I was learning a whole new game. But since I had been sitting on the bench the whole time there had been a strange rumor going around that the coach was saving me as a special weapon for a real game. As I stepped out in a game for the first time in my college career the stands erupted in people shouting my name. A vision of fame.